Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
