did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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