i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
