i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
