Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
