6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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