K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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