If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
