checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
