I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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