I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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