i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
