Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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