i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
