Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Randomize
