If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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