i don't like sucking hair
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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