i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
