I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
