Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
