flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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