do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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