i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You ate ashes out of my bong
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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