Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
