I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
