Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
