All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm sobbing to NWA
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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