i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
