if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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