I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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