sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
