Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Randomize
