Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
