Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
