I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
