Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
