he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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