i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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