i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
