Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
