the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
