When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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