there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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