I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
