i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
