have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
