So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
