I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
