So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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