Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she peed on how many people?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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