a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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